Pornography and a Cheating Spouse

Posted on by Dr. Kevin Skinner

Do you have a cheating spouse who cares more about pornography than he or she does about you? I am constantly receiving emails from men and women who have a spouse trapped in pornography and they do not know how to help. If you are reading this page, you are likely dealing with a relationship in which your partner has been cheating on you and is likely involved in pornography.

The other day I was talking with a woman who had been married for 30 years. She found a lot of pornography on her ex-husbands computer after she had learned that he was having an affair. She was devastated and looking for answers to why he would leave her and their daughters. The answer is hard to understand. Her husband developed a pornography addiction and had began acting out his fantasies with other women. Her cheating spouse had transformed his pornography addiction into an affair.

If you are like most individuals who are dealing with a cheating spouse you are likely emotionally frustrated, worried, afraid, hurt, and/or angry.

Over the past few years, I have heard many gut wrenching stories from clients who have come into my office distraught with their spouse who has become addicted to pornography or who have become involved in sexually-oriented chat rooms.

They tell stories of not being sexually intimate for weeks, months, or years at a time. They express deep hurt and rejection because they don’t feel desirable anymore. They ask questions or make statements like:

How could he or she have done this to our family?


What is wrong with me? I must not be good enough for him or her.

If you are like most people who have a cheating spouse you have many questions. My desire in creating this webpage is to provide you information that will help you through this challenging time.

In an effort to provide answers to the many questions I have received over the years from spouses who have a cheating partner involved in pornography, I have created a CD titled, "A Spouse’s Guide to Helping a Partner Caught in Pornography Addiction ". This CD covers the following areas:

  • Emotional phases you can expect to go through now that you have learned about your spouse’s behavior.
  • Learn the key elements of disclosure—what you should be looking for and what you can expect—you may want to listen to this section with your spouse
  • I will teach you how to understand and assess your spouses involvement in pornography (is it just pornography? Or are there other addictive behaviors involved?). You will also be given ideas to help you determine the likelihood of whether your spouse will change or not—
  • Learn the common mistakes spouses make when trying to help
  • The next section will focus on your role as a spouse. Most spouses simply do not know how to respond when they find that their partner is viewing pornography behind their back or are involved in online sex. Learn how to be helpful but not overly involved
  • Finding good professional help—Learn what questions to ask when looking for a good therapist or group.
  • Methods to help yourself heal
  • Characteristics of couples who do well in the recovery process.

If you are interested in purchasing this product you can visit the following website Cheating Spouse . If you are lost and wondering how to respond to your spouses pornography addiction, I highly recommend you purchase this product.

In addition, I would recommend that you sign up our monthly newsletter. Each month in the newsletter I have devoted a section to marriage and pornography addiction. I try to help partners and spouses who are trying to cope with their cheating spouse’s pornography addiction.

One Response to Pornography and a Cheating Spouse

  1. SR says:

    My husband has created a female profile to talk to lesbian women online. He said it was just fantasy world, but he has used 95% of his time dedicating to This site. Hundreds of women were contacted. I caught him for two weeks ago. It has started for aprox one year ago. But the pornography addiction comes from childhood and he rates himself as level 7 according to your book (I bought it as soon as I found out abt his addiction). He really wants to get treatment and is suffering with what he had done to himself, to me and our son. I would never guess abt this addiction because he was very good hiding it. I want to help him, we ave been for the past two weeks talking to each other like never before. He is telling me things that I thought never hear, inclusive abt his childhood and how he entered this fantasy world. Ive been strong by God’s grace, but it hurts a lot. I’ve read some of the love letters to those lesbians and it makes me so sad to see that he uses very kind and lovely words to them, exactly like he used to do t me when we met for 7 years go. I need help to cope with this, because I love my husband and I don’t want to loose the fight t the enemy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *